He uses pillows to masturbate.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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