Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize