why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
