hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
