i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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