I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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