It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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