community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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