the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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