I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
