i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
