What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
