Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
