I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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