dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
