Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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