conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
