Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
