Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
