Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
