it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
