is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
