Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
