we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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