It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
