VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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