Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Randomize
