Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
