I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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