He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
