her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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