Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
