Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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