She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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