Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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