Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
