You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
