Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
