Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Will you blow on my dice?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize
