Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
