At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
