just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
