Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize