My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just want to make out with him forever
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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