I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
