Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
