I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I got inside last night via doggy door
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
