New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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