Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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