my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
