Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize