Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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