Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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